If you think the stuff I'm good at fits the problem you have, drop me a mail at email@example.com.
You can send email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Try to pass the Turing Test in the subject line. :-)
I'm jnthn on freenode.
I'm not much into phone calls. I tolerate them only for family because they're family, and work because I'm being paid to tolerate them. :-)